break a promise and bleed
by gustin puckerman
Summary: it feels so good when everything feels so bad. Blake Nellie. Glee Project 2. one-shot.


**It's been a long time since I've been on fanfic (at least, I've felt that way). Sigh. You know what's been up with me? Okay, first, I have open up Tumblr. That shit is fucking awesome and (unfortunately) had been taking most of my times. That's the reason I haven't been doing anything on fanfic. My tumblr**; _just-bbmitchell_. **Second, my damn exam. It's coming closer, day by day. But, to shake off the nerve, I'm taking my time to do this. I hope it works. Well, Blellie-ers, I don't know what I have written down- but I hope you'd like it**! :D

**Inspiration: "**..._yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive_..." **Goo Goo Dolls- Iris**.

**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to their rightful owner(s) This has nothing to do with the dead or living. It is merely a fanfic, therefore it is something i created in my head**.

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The red liquid runs down his wrist, making lines that is so sickly; it might be beautiful.

The sharp razor stays within his fingers tightly and he lets out breath he has been holding. His eyes watch lazily as the blood keeps flowing - it reminds him of the times he used to watch the stream with his mother when he was a child- and he kinds of smile. _It feels nice_. He leans back against the wall. _It feels good_.

"Promise me you won't do anything stupid after I'm gone," his mother's sharp voice comes running into his mind.

He stops. He breaks a promise. He promised his ma with every fiber of his being, he wouldn't. He had grabbed her fragile hand in his large ones (he feels so guilty being the strong one in the situation) and told her in reply to not _say that_. His mama won't die- at least not like this. Not in a hospital bed with things injected in her skins and machines trying to control over her body.

His mama won't die.

Boy, is he wrong.

His mama died on a lazy Thursday when he's doing his English test. His father- the one who's been so busy with works to even give a glance at him- tells him, mournfully, painfully, hurtfully of the news and he feels as if he's being stabbed a thousand times right at his chest. (it hurts more than that, but he couldn't describe how.)

He promised his mama he won't let her die; and yet there she went, leaving him behind all alone in this _lonelylonelylonely_ world. It's dark and scary and everything is jumbled-up together in his head, that he could go insane if this keeps going.

He promised her he won't do anything stupid...; but mama, it feels _so good_ when everything feels _so bad_.

He hears a voice but he only sees a shine of light hovering over him. The razor sinks deeper into his skin and the blood's covering his palm feels warm like summer- one where he once spent with his mama when she's all healthy and shining and glimmering like the world were theirs. And summer's supposed to feel good - like the first time the blood gushes out of his system - but, somehow, it isn't on the moment.

He feels like dying; and he hopes on the way to hell, he passes through heaven to see his mama for the very last time.

Nellie is this sweet, sweet girl who has been the one to know him the most besides his mama. She's just this pure, innocent, quiet girl who watches life like it's a movie and sits by the sides because she doesn't like to be involved as much (at least, not like him). But despite their differences, he likes her. And he likes her when she isn't afraid to be herself, and isn't afraid to make weird faces or laugh out loud; unlike any others. And he likes the way her nails sink into his shoulders as she yells for him to wake up.

She cries- and he'd thought of hurting the one who had hurt her- until he realizes she's crying _for him_.

"Oh _god_, Blake," she'd never sounds so scared before- and it kills him that he is the cause of that. "What did you do?"

"It hurts, Nell," he tells her- and he'd hope she's smart enough to realize he's not talking about the cuts. "So much."

"You'll be fine," she says back through her teeth, and he watches how determined she is underneath her words. She makes a promise. Doesn't she know it's actually easy to break a promise? "The ambulance will be here soon. Stay with me, kay?"

And as he looks through her eyes- those eyes that contains fire _unlike any others_, he knows she's the type to never break a promise (and it mends his broken soul a little bit to know that fact), and so he nods his head, even if that effort feels like he has to carry tons of brick across town. It feels heavy and it hurts and it's painful beyond imaginable, but-

he hates the sight to see her in his sinful blood, so he forces himself to nod anyway.

"I'm sorry," he mutters, breathlessly.

She points him a look, holding him so carefully in her care (one wrong move might break him all over again) and says with voice so soft, he thinks he might be hearing things, "You should. Just promise me... You won't do this again."

And he doesn't know what happen or what _clicks_ or maybe this act has poison the way of his thinking, but he nods his head towards her, sealing the deal.

And he knows how another promise could shatter him from the inside if he breaks it,

but for once, he's actually thinking of keeping it.

(because besides from his heavenly-sent mama, the red liquid painted over his skins; Nellie is a beauty he won't smeared- not again.)

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**What the _hell_ am I writing? Oh whatever. I had fun writing it. It's a short one-shot (_finally_!) because I want to try something much more simpler. This is for Annie (who reviewed my last Blellie one-shot) because her review literally made my day. And ShipperHeart453 because she's awesome. Leave a review if you have time, alright**?


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